“Breaking up is hard to do…”

Meet ED. He slowly seduces you with thoughts of perfection and happiness. You are not aware of his intentions at first. But soon, you need him in order to feel a sense of purpose, even thought he controls you and makes you feel worthless. He becomes your entire world, your only focus, your greatest obsession. Yet, you are his target, his vulnerable culprit who he consumes and confines in his world.

You are lost without him, yet you have completely lost any sense of self by being with him. You’d do anything for him, yet nothing is ever good enough. You love him, yet he is silently and slowly killing you.

Meet ED. He is my Eating Disorder and my past. Here is a story of our relationship - of the pain, hurt and betrayal endured… and the process of breaking free of his grasp and learning how to LIVE again - without him.

Raija Begall, particpant, Youth with an OPEN mind program

Books available at Chapters Bookstore

Raija Begall was born and raised in Thunder Bay. She attended Algonquin Public school, spent Grade 9 at Port Arthur Collegiate Institute, and then her next three years, Grades 10 through 12, at Hammarskjold High School. Throughout high school, Raija was a member of the cheerleading team and always LOVED performing, but always disliked the skirts! Raija just finished her first of four years at Lakehead University in the Nursing Program and has hopes of eventually one day specializing in paediatric/youth mental health.

For the last five years, Raija had a dream to travel to Africa and last March 2007, this dream came true. At 17, Raija travelled with a group of ten to Rwanda to help build a school as part of Nu-Vision Ministry in Thunder Bay. After that single experience, she knew that Africa is somewhere she hopes to return to work in an orphanage.

Aside from Africa, Raija’s other passions include mental illness and eating disorder awareness, which is why this book happened in the first place, helping children and meeting new people and being able to learn about where people have come from and the stories they have to tell.

When Raija wants to relax, she loves the sunshine and summertime - bring on the running, rollerblading, fishing and summers at camp, but she also loves when it rains. She imagines it’s washing away all of life’s problems and cares. Journal writing and music are Raija’s therapy and she listens to country music, but also likes the inspirational and pump-up tunes too.

Raija has one brother who she looks up to more than any other guy she knows. Raija’s parents have been divorced since she was 6, which she sees as a blessing because she’s had the opportunity to become a part of TWO amazing families, and meet so many new people and supportive relatives.

Raija believes that everything happens for a reason and what’s meant to be will be… but at the same time, she says we only have TODAY. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed and yesterday isn’t worth dwelling over… so take all the chances you can, and make sure you’re not living wondering what could’ve been, because hey… it still CAN BE today. Take a chance, try it, do it and find out yourself… you’ll never know until you do.